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Three Things to Avoid When Asking for a Referral, and Suggested Alternatives

Needing a recommendation? Steer clear of these usual blunders and discover the appropriate dialogue to craft a request that appears natural, considerate, and yields a positive response.

Steer Clear of These 3 Phrases for a Successful Referral; Here Are the Alternatives
Steer Clear of These 3 Phrases for a Successful Referral; Here Are the Alternatives

Three Things to Avoid When Asking for a Referral, and Suggested Alternatives

In the realm of networking, building genuine relationships is the key to unlocking the power of referrals. By following a few simple steps, you can increase your chances of receiving valuable introductions without making it awkward for the other person.

**Step 1: Identify the Right Person**

Focus on individuals you have a genuine connection with, such as friends, former colleagues, or supervisors. These warm connections are more likely to help, as they already have a sense of your skills and personality. Ensure there is a shared context or common ground that makes your outreach feel genuine rather than random.

**Step 2: Prepare Your Approach**

Tailor your approach based on your relationship with the potential referrer. For close relationships, a friendly tone might be suitable, while professional relationships may require a more formal approach. Prepare what you want to say to feel confident and composed during the conversation.

**Step 3: Make the Request**

If possible, have a brief in-person conversation to explain your request and purpose before sending a formal email. Use a formal email to confirm your request. Include necessary details such as your career goals, the job or company you are targeting, any relevant deadlines or submission instructions, and your updated resume or a brief summary of your skills.

**Step 4: Express Gratitude**

Acknowledge the person's time and commitment by expressing gratitude, both in your email and in follow-up communications.

**Step 5: Follow Up**

After making the request, follow up politely to ensure the referral was made or to thank them if they have already done so.

By following these steps, you can ask for a referral in a way that feels natural and respectful, increasing the likelihood of receiving help. Offering specific help or support, such as sharing your resume or the job posting, makes it easier for the other person to assess how they can help. Skipping straight to the ask means they don't understand who you are or what you bring, making it hard to vouch for you.

Asking negative questions, such as "What don't you like about working there?", can make people feel defensive and uncomfortable, especially in early interactions. Asking directly for a referral or an intro to a hiring manager without building a relationship can lead to being ghosted.

Psychological research supports the idea that the way a question is framed significantly impacts how people answer and feel about the questioner. A little thoughtfulness goes a long way when asking for a referral, making people more likely to engage and eager to help. A referral might come naturally without pushing for it if the connection feels real after building rapport.

84% of companies surveyed by Aptitude Research say employee referrals are the best way to find talent at the lowest cost. Building rapport by asking questions like "What has your experience been working at [Company]?" can help you learn more about the role and the culture and show that you're genuinely interested. Asking "How does this company compare to your last one?" is a more thoughtful question that invites reflection and sharing of experience in a balanced way.

In the process of seeking job referral advice, it's vital to consider what not to say when asking for a referral, such as avoiding negative questions that may make people feel defensive. Instead, focus on professionally articulating your request by asking thoughtful questions about the company and the potential referrer's experience. Additionally, education and self-development are essential aspects of career development, and understanding referral etiquette can be a significant asset in one's job search help. Boosting your career development through asking for help at work and networking can lead to valuable employee referral tips that further aid in your career advancement.

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