The Perfect Servant, the Tool, the Portrait: Understanding the Disconnection from Our Physical Selves
Nurturing a strong bond with oneself and one's body often leads us to a heightened awareness of the world's imperfections and the realization that not everything caters to our needs. This awareness can stir a mix of emotions and bring forth nuances we need to acknowledge.
For example, one may discover that clothing and footwear, particularly clothing for women, can cause physical discomfort. Places that used to be pleasant may now feel less so. Small things around us might begin to openly irritate, demanding attention and change. While making minor adjustments is straightforward, the challenge lies in the sheer number of adjustments required, making it difficult to change everything at once. Old habits often persist, and we find ourselves wearing uncomfortable clothing, visiting unpleasant places, and eating food we dislike.
My personal journey began many years ago, as I strived to create a comfortable environment for myself, being as meticulous as possible. Yet, I still sometimes end up buying ill-fitting shoes or a jacket, or agree to attend an event that leaves me exhausted and in need of recovery. Small inconveniences tend to outnumber us, trapping us in a cycle of rebuilding our daily lives and inevitably accepting environmental limitations. I cannot remodel the gym's restrooms without altering the gym itself. I cannot attend a party at noon because there are no parties at noon. We must adapt, and sometimes it's easier to tolerate discomfort than to confront it all at once.
A more significant bond with one's body inevitably exposes reality's flaws. It's not just about a too-tight bra; it's about too-constricting relationships in which we may lack space and the ability to be ourselves. It's not just about an uncomfortable mattress, but also about an unhealthy neighborhood where our entire being aches from tension, constantly feeling anxiety. We must solve these issues. Merely acknowledging them can be uncomfortable, as it hints that we've made errors along the way and forces us to confront them before taking action. (Much like when your mom asks, "Well, why did you buy it then?", when you say you'll never wear that awful sweater you bought 10 years ago).
In the modern market economy and consumer society, a person in touch with their body can be inconvenient and economically useless. The ideal customer is one who doesn't understand themselves, who can't decide what they want now, and so buys as much as possible just in case, believing that purchases can alleviate a deep sense of inner dissatisfaction. The less we feel ourselves, the less we understand what's ours, the easier it is to hand control to those who know how we should live, making it difficult to say "no," even when we sense something is amiss.
A person in touch with their body is hard to control because they trust their feelings and intuition more. It's harder to deceive them, as they notice inconsistencies in people and situations more quickly. However, this inner knowledge has a price: the need to see the real world, which one can't unsee. The world's harsh realities become apparent, revealing shattered illusions, the lies we tell ourselves and others, actions we perform for self-care merely to distance our body from its issues, and relationships we build by avoiding genuine connection. In short, our hidden skeletons come to light, forcing us to confront them head-on.
Enrichment Data:
Overall:
The Power of a Deeper Connection With One's Body
Self-Awareness and Empowered Choices: A deeper connection with one's body fosters self-awareness, allowing individuals to recognize their emotional states, bodily signals, and values. This leads to more deliberate and authentic decision-making, as people can better align their actions with their core beliefs, avoiding impulsive reactions driven by external pressures or fleeting emotions. This enhanced self-awareness supports improved relationships and interactions with the world.
Emotional Intelligence and Healthier Relationships: Greater self-awareness and bodily connection enhance emotional intelligence, benefiting interpersonal relationships. Individuals who understand their own needs and boundaries are better equipped to communicate them, empathize with others, and build healthier, more authentic connections. Conscious intimacy—established on mutual respect and genuine, body-based communication—can transform sexual and emotional closeness, moving away from objectification and toward deeper, more meaningful interactions.
Moral Decision-Making and Ethical Action: When individuals are attuned to their bodies and internal states, their perception of the world becomes more grounded and less reactive. They are less likely to be swayed by superficial stimuli or societal expectations, leading to a more nuanced understanding of social dynamics and a greater capacity for compassion and ethical action.
Struggles of the Modern Consumer Society
- Distraction and Overstimulation: Modern consumer culture constantly bombards individuals with external stimuli—advertisements, social media, and rapid consumption—diverting attention away from internal awareness and self-reflection.
- Objectification: In sexuality and relationships, media and pornography often prioritize performance and gratification over authentic, bodily connection, reducing intimacy to transactional or scripted interactions.
- External Validation: Encouragement to seek approval, status, and happiness through material acquisition or appearance can undermine confidence in one's internal signals and values.
- Disconnection from the Body: Sedentary lifestyles, processed foods, and an emphasis on productivity over rest can alienate people from their bodily needs, making it harder to listen to internal cues, fostering disconnection and a reliance on external sources for validation.
Sources:
[1] Toosy, Roisin, and Jacky Wfu-lansdown. "Understanding the Evolutionary Potential of Dance." The Psychology of Dance: Between the Mind and the Body. Routledge, 2015.
[2] Levkoff, Shira T., and Jordan Rosenblatt. Sex, Evolution, and Well-Being: A Biological Perspective. Oxford University Press, 2012.
[3] Decety, Jean, and Richard J. Davidson. "Social neuroscience: the neurobiology of empathy, altruism, and morality." Nature Reviews Neuroscience 8, no. 11 (2007): 703-712.
[4] Markus, Hazel, and Barbara L. Wheaton. "Models of the self." Contemporary social psychology. Academic Press, 1992.
[5] Haidt, Jonathan. "The new synthesis in moral psychology." Philosophical transactions of the Royal Society of London. Series B, Biological sciences 364, no. 1533 (2009): 3029-3038.
- The realization of the world's imperfections can lead individuals to acknowledge the discomfort caused by habits like wearing uncomfortable footwear or clothes that don't fit properly, signifying the need for change in alignment with personal health-and-wellness and lifestyle.
- As one delves deeper into self-awareness and understanding their body, they may discover nuances in their relationships that require attention, such as constraining relationships where they lack space for personal growth.
- Acknowledging these issues can potentially trigger feelings of dissatisfaction and force one to confront personal errors, akin to when someone is asked about an impulsive purchase they later regret.
- In the realm of fashion-and-beauty, a person more in touch with their body can question societal norms, leading to a shift in personal choices and preferences.
- A more connected individual, however, may find it harder to conform to societal standards, as they are less likely to be swayed by superficial stimuli and may prioritize their mental-health and education-and-self-development over external validation.
- Developing emotional intelligence through a deeper understanding of one's body can lead to healthier relationships, as individuals can empathize better, communicate their needs more effectively, and build genuine connections.
- Conversely, exposure to the world's harsh realities can reveal hidden skeletons, calling for personal growth and introspection, and pushing individuals to make meaningful changes in their lives.
