Ten Uncommon Incidents Involving Intoxicated Wildlife

Ten Uncommon Incidents Involving Intoxicated Wildlife

Loose Cannons: Intoxicated Creatures Gone Wild!

Hey there, buddy! Ever thought about how much us humans and critters have in common? Well, it seems like even the taste for a stiff drink ain't exclusive to us two-legged creatures. From avians to mammals, many species have shown signs of drunken behavior after chowing down on fermented fruit, grain, and other intoxicating substances.

Now, let's get those party stories flowing! Here are some tales of our inebriated, four-legged (and winged) friends that'll leave you scratching your head in disbelief and amusement.

10 Police Roundup of Sloshed Raccoons

In the chilly lands of West Virginia, residents started making panicky calls to the Milton Police Department about disoriented raccoons roaming around in November 2018. Worried that they might be infected with rabies, the police quickly realized the real culprit: bad crab apples! Seems like our masqueraded bandits had themselves a drunken feast on the fermented crab apples, causing quite the ruckus in the neighborhood. The authority had no choice but to cart two raccoons off to the hoosegow until they sobered up. Luckily, they were released unscathed near the woods. Unfortunately, one of the rowdy raccoons was euthanized a few days later due to distemper, a serious viral illness [1].

9 Drunk Canucks: Crashed, Banged, and Hammered in November

Folks up in the frosty Canadian climate know a thing or two about dramatic fall weather changes. These transitions can cause berries to start brewing, as the sugars in them ferment when the temperature gradually ascends from a chilly period with frost. With this transformation, berries transform into booze for our avian friends. Flight becomes challenging for these drunken birds, and perching and walking become troublesome endeavors. Some birds even curdle their tunes into slurred and off-key melodies. Reports of collisions with windows, walls, and parked cars have flooded in from various parts of Canada, and a few birds have even met their unfortunate demise or suffered from ruptured livers [1].

To help these hooch-soaked Yukon songbirds, miniature drunk tanks were built for their rehabilitation. Fitted with water and bedding, these cages provide a quiet and dark environment for the tipsy birds to rest until they regain their sobriety [1].

8 Wasted Seagulls Puke on English Beaches

Back in June 2018, the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) in the UK received a deluge of calls about sloppy seagulls retching on southwest England beaches. These seagulls were wobbling around like drunk sailors, struggling to stand tall. Experts speculated that they had become contaminated by local brewery or alcohol producer waste or maybe even by guzzling discarded beer cans from nearby beaches. While most of them survived, some seagulls bit the dust[2]. A vet who treated the liquored-up sea birds urged other vets to avoid euthanizing the gulls, as they may still be nursing their hangovers [2].

7 Fruitless Pursuits: Mopey Male Fruit Flies Turn To Alcohol

In a 2012 study, researchers discovered that manless fruit flies have a hankering for alcoholic rations when they've been left out in the cold by their partners. Apparently, these dissatisfied boys prefer food spiked with alcohol, while mated males display zero interest. Unmated males with lower amounts of a brain chemical called neuropeptide F appear to be the main suspects, seeking out alcohol to boost their feelings of contentment. Yet, it's not just unrequited love driving these boys to the bottle; they also use alcohol to defend their young from parasitic wasps[3].

This doesn't mean that booze-loving fruit flies have it easy, though. They still have to deal with the unpleasant consequences of overindulgence. Female fruit flies, eager to scatter their eggs, lay them on food saturated with up to 15% alcohol concentration-the greatest concentration found in nature [3].

6 Winner Wino: The Drunken Pigeon of New Zealand

The New Zealand pigeon, colloquially known as the kereru, is native to the country and often found on both of the main islands. This feathery furball is known to have a penchant for excessive drinking, earning it the title of "drunkest bird in New Zealand." During summer, this pigeon gets its hands on rotten fruit and plummets from trees after consuming too much alcohol. Sometimes, these tipsy avians are taken to wildlife centers to sober up. Though not endangered, these birds are vulnerable to predators like feral cats and stoats when inebriated, as they lose their sneaky edge [2].

In 2018, this boozy bird won Bird of the Year in New Zealand with 5,833 votes [4]. Despite its drinking problem, the kakapo came in second with 3,772 votes, and the black stilt, an extremely rare hand-raised bird, placed third with 2,995 votes. A whopping 2,000 fraudulent votes from Australia were trashed[4].

5 Drunk and Disorderly Squirrel Wrecks Club

In the year 2015, the secretary of the Honeybourne Railway Club in Worcestershire, England, was left scratching his head, thinking something had been broken into and ransacked the place. Little did he know that the culprit was a revved-up squirrel who had somehow managed to waltz in from outside and cause an estimated £300 worth of carnage. The rodent had a ball at the pub, draining some Ale Caffrey, vandalizing the joint, and leaving a mess of moolah and bottles scattered around. The intoxicated critter tried its best to stay upright, but with its wonky legs and slurred speech, it was no match for the club's influential patrons [1].

4 Bats Buzzing: The Flying Nocturnal Barflies

Researchers in 2009 found that bats could fly as nimbly and efficiently while soused as they do when stone-cold sober. These winged revelers were given a variety of treats, including sugar water and ethanol, proportionally to each bat's body weight. Despite some of the bats having a blood-alcohol content of 0.3%, they sailed through an obstacle course without a hitch. Although it's illegal to drive with a blood-alcohol content of 0.08% in all 50 states of the U.S., these botched bats still managed to navigate their way to success. One theory suggests that tolerance for alcohol may be linked to how often and how much the animal drinks [3].

3 Rare Caribbean Vervet Monkeys: The Tipsy Tender-agers

The verdant islands of the Caribbean have played host to some of the most bizarre and captivating stories involving intoxicated critters; one such tale includes the arrival of vervet monkeys on these sun-kissed shores. These primates were taken as pets by 18th and 19th-century slavelords and left behind when their vessels docked on the island's sugarcaneland coasts. The happy-go-lucky survivors adapted to their new environment like pros, with rum and molasses-spiked coconut shells becoming their drinks of choice. Turns out, these green monkeys aren't just partial to the sizzling sun and lush greenery but have a special place in their hearts for a good, stiff drink [4].

2 Sweden's Epic Moose Melee

You might not know it, but every autumn, hundreds of moose invade unsuspecting Swedish towns, leave a trail of destruction in their wake, and get totally lit on fermented apples. In one story, a group of five moose even crashed a party, terrorizing the attendees. In another, a single moose managed to wreck a children's swing set, dragging it 800 feet away [5].

There are tales of these inebriated behemoths taking afters to schoolyards, swimming pools, and even engaging in threesomes. Some folks think that these ornery creatures are too big to get tanked on fermented fruit, but Swedes are skeptical of this theory. Afraid they'll end up in the line of fire or get run over by an angry, liquored-up moose, the citizens have taken to calling the police when these whiskered wildcats make a drunken appearance [5].

1 The Great Deception: Staged Drunk Animal Footage

For centuries, mankind has marveled at the eccentricities of Africa's wildlife, with stories of elephants getting smashed on fermented marula fruit captivating audiences for years. These yarns can be traced back to as early as the 1800s, with one French naturalist claiming that elephants become aggressive after consuming marula fruits. As the tales persisted, they even inspired the creation of the famous "Amarula" liqueur, featuring an elephant on its label [6].

However, it turns out that these stories were nothing but tall tales spun by a man named Jamie Uys in the 1970s. Through two documentaries, Uys showcased intoxicated wildlife, but it was later revealed that he had given the animals alcohol-soaked food to make the whole thing appear more authentic [6]. So, those drunk elephants you've been hearing about? They were just hammered ham actors!

Bonus: Wild Quackers

In 2008, the story about a drunk-as-a-skunk moose killing a woman in Sweden made headlines across the globe. Although the moose was suspected to have been intoxicated, there's no concrete evidence to prove its boozed-up state [4].

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1. An intoxicated raccoon duo caused a stir in Milton, West Virginia, in November 2018, after consuming fermented crab apples, leading the Milton Police Department to round them up for a night in the hoosegow.
2. In Canada, berries fermenting during fall weather changes have led to drunken birds crashing into windows, walls, and cars, causing some fatalities and prompting the creation of miniature drunk tanks for rehabilitation.
3. A horde of tipsy seagulls was found on southwest England beaches in June 2018, struggling to stand upright and retching, possibly due to contamination by local brewery or alcohol producer waste.
4. In 2012, a study revealed that fruit flies with low levels of the brain chemical neuropeptide F turned to alcohol when unable to mate, using it to boost contentment and even protect their young from parasitic wasps.
5. For years, it was believed that the New Zealand pigeon, or kereru, was the "drunkest bird in New Zealand," disoriented after consuming rotten fruit with high alcohol content, but evidence suggests that some footage featuring drunken birds was staged.
6. In 2015, a squirrel rampaged through the Honeybourne Railway Club in Worcestershire, England, causing £300 worth of damage while intoxicated on Ale Caffrey.
7. Researchers found that bats could fly with the same precision while intoxicated as when sober in 2009, even when their blood-alcohol content was as high as 0.3%.
8. In the Caribbean, vervet monkeys take advantage of rum and molasses-spiked coconut shells, enjoying an alcohol-infused existence as descendants of 18th and 19th-century pets left behind by slaveholders.
9. Every autumn, Swedish moose invade towns, causing destruction and getting drunk on fermented apples, even engaging in threesomes and wrecking playgrounds.
10. The great deception began in the 1970s when South African filmmaker Jamie Uys staged footage of drunken African wildlife to create two documentaries, including lies about elephants getting drunk on fermented marula fruit, which inspired the creation of the "Amarula" liqueur.

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